After becoming a mummy there are a few things I spend my time thinking about a lot. One of the things I think about is what I want to teach my daughter. A few obvious things spring to mind, such as kindness towards others, empathy, manners, creativity, love of books etc, but I think the most important thing I want to teach her is to love herself. I want her to be proud of herself for who she is and will be, to be kind to herself and to love and take care of her own body. The best way to teach her this is by being a good example. I wish I could say that I am proud of myself, that I love my body with all its flaws. But the truth is that I feel insecure. I, like so many other women, criticise my own reflection, compare myself to others, and some of the things I say to my mirror image are not nice. When I look at myself I focus on the things I wish were different, and I'm not always very good at taking care of my body. I am ashamed to admit this. Yes, I am proud that this body has grown a baby, that I gave birth with no other pain relief than gas and air, that I am continuing to grow this baby with my milk. My body has grown, and is still growing, the most wonderful baby in this world. But this process has also left its marks on my body. I try telling myself that I should be proud of these marks, that they are proof of what I have achieved, simply with my own body. But I can't help comparing myself to others, to images I see in magazines, on tv. Images that I know have been manipulated, images that aren't real. The brutal truth is that I am not proud of my body. And I want to make a promise to my daughter, and to myself. I will try to be a good example to her. I will love my body, with all its flaws, and be proud of myself. I will be a good example to her. I will not let her see the way I sometimes look at myself in the mirror, the way I judge myself. I will show her that taking care of your body and being healthy is important, as is accepting the way our bodies were made. I will be proud and I will love.
This is my goal for 2013, and for the years to come.