Monday 21 January 2013

Wisdom for my daughter

After becoming a mummy there are a few things I spend my time thinking about a lot. One of the things I think about is what I want to teach my daughter. A few obvious things spring to mind, such as kindness towards others, empathy, manners, creativity, love of books etc, but I think the most important thing I want to teach her is to love herself. I want her to be proud of herself for who she is and will be, to be kind to herself and to love and take care of her own body. The best way to teach her this is by being a good example. I wish I could say that I am proud of myself, that I love my body with all its flaws. But the truth is that I feel insecure. I, like so many other women, criticise my own reflection,  compare myself to others, and some of the things I say to my mirror image are not nice. When I look at myself I focus on the things I wish were different, and I'm not always very good at taking care of my body. I am ashamed to admit this. Yes, I am proud that this body has grown a baby, that I gave birth with no other pain relief than gas and air, that I am continuing to grow this baby with my milk. My body has grown, and is still growing, the most wonderful baby in this world. But this process has also left its marks on my body. I try telling myself that I should be proud of these marks, that they are proof of what I have achieved, simply with my own body. But I can't help comparing myself to others, to images I see in magazines, on tv. Images that I know have been manipulated, images that aren't real. The brutal truth is that I am not proud of my body. And I want to make a promise to my daughter, and to myself. I will try to be a good example to her. I will love my body, with all its flaws, and be proud of myself. I will be a good example to her. I will not let her see the way I sometimes look at myself in the mirror, the way I judge myself. I will show her that taking care of your body and being healthy is important, as is accepting the way our bodies were made. I will be proud and I will love.

This is my goal for 2013, and for the years to come.

6 comments:

  1. Det er fine og riktige mål du har satt deg i forhold til din lille datter. At vi damer ikke alltid evner å fri oss fra kroppshysteriet, er en kjennsgjerning vi bare må leve med. Det betyr kontinuerlig jobbing med seg selv og sine holdninger. Litt mer gi f... innstilling hjelper på....litt mer dyrking av våre sterke sider. Se seg i speilet hver dag og bestemme seg for at man er ok. Jeg tror du vil klare deg flott, du evner å se de små gledene i hverdagen, akkurat som du sier selv i sideteksten til bloggen din! Det er en uvurderlig evne å ha, og det er nettopp det det dreier seg om...

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    1. Takk for fine ord! Jeg skulle ønske jeg klarte å gi mer f... og målet mitt er å bli flinkere til det!

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  2. Veldig bra innlegg Anne-Lise! Ha en fin dag :)

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  3. Amen! Kjempefint innlegg!

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    1. Takk! Det er så viktig! Jeg skjønner ikke hvorfor vi jenter ofte er så stygge med oss selv.

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